The Balancing Act
The balancing act can get a bit tricky at times; when you have to keep your feet in both the boats specially. And when you are in a relationship, one of the most important balances that you need to strike is the one between your partner and your best friend.
When you are in love with someone and you get into a relationship, well, you are expected to spend quality time with your partner. But what happens to that person, who was with you all the while, who saw you through thick and thin? What happens to the person you have been calling your best friend for all these times? He/she obviously feels left out as now your time gets divided.
It’s a problem that all those who newly got into a relationship face. But if you know how to balance it out, you will be able to find time for both your best friend and your partner.
To begin with, let’s get this straight- you will have to understand, to feel that both these people are special in your life in their own ways. Hence neglecting one for the other’s sake is not an option. You will have to learn to divide your time and attention between the two. Here are a few simple ways in which you can keep your relationship and friendship intact at the same time.
One simple way is to introduce your partner to your best friend. This is the best way in which you can spend time with both. But keep in mind, not to do your coochie cooing in your friends presence much. He/she might get uncomfortable. Come on, behave like grown-ups.
You get enough time to yourself. Also avoid conversations with your friend in which your partner might feel left out. Bask in the glory that you get to spend time with two of your closest people together.
But sometimes, this may not be possible. Specially if your partner and your friend, they don’t get along well. This a probable case as you chose your partner for yourself and not for your friend. Hence it might not be that they will get along well always. In that case you will have to learn to divide your time. When you are meeting your friend, make sure that you are spending time only with him/her.
Switch off your mobile. Your boyfriend/girlfriend calling during this time is not something that should happen. Not even messaging is allowed. Spend quality time together.
On the other hand when you are with your partner, give him/her the full attention. Try avoiding conversations regarding your friend. And the mobile rule applies here also. And if you are living-in with your partner, or you are married to him/her, half of your problem is solved as you know you will get time with him/her. Even if you both are working in the day, make sure you get to have proper conversations over the dinner table.
Besides if one of them feels insecure, talk. Explain to them how he/she is important to you and just because you love one doesn’t mean you don’t love the other.
Never compare your partner with your best friend. That’s the worst mistake one can make. Remember, they are different individuals with different world views. Hence it’s wrong to expect one to be similar to the other.
Keeping these few things in mind, I guess will help you to balance between your relationship and your friendship. You will have to make both of them feel special. Because you know how much both mean to you.
