Relationship Issues: Anger Management

Anger can be the cause of any disruption and can wreak complete havoc in an otherwise perfectly normal and loving relationship. It is perfectly normal for all of us to get angry at times when we feel provoked, depressed or lonely etc.

However, letting these emotions get the better of us can lead to ‘hard to control’ temper tantrums that can spell doom for even the most compatible of relationships.

Anger is fast becoming the major reason for marital disputes these days, and many experts and marriage counsellors advice couples to focus on the strengths of their relationships instead of individual differences (which can fuel an already raging fight).

Fights and small tiffs are common in any relationship. While it’s not the fight and the reason for the same that actually counts, what counts is the respect and love partners have for each other and how much they are willing to forgoe in order to keep the relationship stable and happy.

Let’s take a sneak peak into some of the more common reasons as to why couples fight regularly and also look into the various solutions that can be meted out to these issues.

New Entrant in the Family: Trust us, new and expecting mothers! Your love for your partner would be put to the test after your child enters the world.

Men love to be cared for and pampered by their spouses and shifting all your attention to the new born is definitely going to create some sparks in your relationship.

In addition to having little or no time to even sit down and talk, you would find the frequency of sex with your partner decreasing sharply, which would lead to a few fights. If the situation continues uncontrolled, your partner will most likely look for alternate options to fulfil his sexual desires, a condition you most definitely don’t want to happen.

While your partner may feel that you don’t want to have sex with him anymore, you would feel tired after taking care of the baby so long and want to take some rest. The best way to bridge this difference in thoughts is to be open about your feelings to each other.

Explain to each other about the issues that force you to stay away from sex and try to work together to clear them one by one. If need be, you can also consult an expert for some help in the matter.

Accusations and Insults over Infedility: Words once poured out cannot be taken back and the same goes for accusations and insults that are thrown out in a fit of rage.

Infedility is a big blame and accusing your partner of the same can break your relationship altogether. You may have concrete proof that he is cheating on you. On the other hand, you may be having only a hunch about his extra marital affair.

Whatever be the case. Never resort to throwing accusations and insults at your partner without giving him a chance to explain. Whether justified or not, he needs to be given a chance to explain his side of the story. So instead of shouting at him, sit down and talk amicably.

Disturbing Past Stories: Being open about previous relationships and flings can work out both to your avantage and disadvantage as well. Your partner may feel that you trust him enough to reveal your secrets and would start treating you with respect.

On the other hand, he may also use your past as a weapon to provoke you whenever an argument arises. You may reflect the same behavior without your knowledge at regular intervals as well.

The only way to have a bright future is to bury out all the dark incidents that happened in the past. Recollecting memories that are best forgotten and using the same as tools to provoke the other can completely ruin a good relationship.

Uncontrollable Stress: In today’s fast paced world, the urge to constantly stay at the front of the race to the top and to succeed in every field tends to put undue stress and strain on an individual. And if this stress is not handled properly, it may burden the relationship.

Too many personal and professional commitments in addition to stressful conditions like low self esteem, pressure to excel or job dissatisfaction can bog down individuals to a great extent and they start showing their anger on their spouses, something that should be avoided at all costs.

If you feel stress as being the major reason for your temper tantrums, sit down with your partner and analyze the reasons as to why you feel stressed out in the first place.

Once you have identified the individual reasons that contribute to stress, you can work out with your partner to reduce the same to an extent. If you cannot do it on your own or with the help of your partner as well, you can always enroll in stress management, meditation or yoga classes to de stress yourself.