Bringing the baby home is a most exciting time. It’s the entry of a new member of the family who will bring much joy and happiness around. However, in this cheerful scenario there may be one little person who may feel neglected – the older child who may be a little toddler himself/herself. Parents need to ensure that this little person is neither neglected nor does he/she feel left out.
Increased Involvement of Father
As toddlers have spent most of their early years with their mother, it is now important that the father plays a more involved role. This will make the toddler feel wanted and will also give the second-time mother some rest. Apart from looking after all of the toddlers needs, the father can do a lot of outdoor activities with the child. This will divert the child’s attention from his/her mother as ‘out of sight – out of mind’.
Alternating between the Baby and Toddler
In the first three months, the new baby has two major needs – being fed when hungry and being held close so that there is warmth from body contact. The former can be done only by the mother while the latter can be done by anybody. Hence, an ideal situation is that the mother is with the new baby whenever he/she is hungry (i.e., every 2-3 hours) and in-between feed times, she spends her time either resting or attending to the older sibling.
Additional Adult Help
After the father’s paternity leave is over, it is helpful to get some additional help from a person who can alternate between the toddler and the baby, as and when required. However, all mothers should remember that the little baby understands nothing while the toddler is at an impressionable age. Hence, primary attention should be given to the toddler (unless, of course, it is feed time for the baby).
In the absence of any additional help, the mother can read to the toddler during the baby’s feed time. This then becomes a time for bonding with both the baby and toddler.
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